Sanity Levels
by Crossroader32
Summary: The somewhat sane tennis players get together to discuss the quirks of their not-so-normal teammates. Side story to the Trapped! series.


**A/N: Takes place right after part four of Trapped! But before the fifth.**

**Sanity Levels**

Kuwahara Jackal was in need of company. _Sane_ company to be exact. He was worried hanging around his mentally unstable team all the time would be detrimental to his own mental health. Thus the bald tennis player decided to invite the few sane members of the tennis teams to hang out. It really didn't matter to him that they were rivals; all that mattered was that they were somewhat sane.

.~.~.~.

And that is why Momoshiro, Ootori, and Zaizen found themselves in Kanagawa with Jackal. Oddly enough they had all jumped at the chance to get away from their teams. Well Ootori didn't want to leave that badly but Atobe _did_ kind of make him cry. . .

They were all quite content with each other until Momoshiro decided to bring up a certain topic.

"Hey, Kuwahara," Momoshiro turned his attention to the Brazilian across from him, "why did you invite everyone out here so suddenly?"

Jackal blinked, "Huh? Oh, I just needed time away from the crazies I call my teammates."

Ootori tilted his head in confusion, "Rikkaidai is crazy? They sure don't seem like it."

"Trust me," Jackal said shaking his head, "Rikkai is more insane than everyone. I'm the one sane person on the team!"

Momoshiro snorted, "Rikkai? Crazy? You guys obviously have never seen Seigaku off courts. Fuji-senpai locked us in his torture chamber of a basement for crying out loud!" He shivered at the memory. Never again was he going near a cactus.

"You know the younger Fuji was supposed to be here too," Jackal said, "But he called and told me that Mizuki had locked everyone in the clubroom for 'team bonding' and he had to help Kisarazu drag Yanagisawa out of the closet."

Jumping up, Momoshiro exclaimed, "Ah hah! Team bonding is evil! That was Fuji-senpai's excuse for locking us in a basement!"

Jackal looked appalled, "You think you had it bad? Yukimura-buchou locked us in his _closet_!"

"You were locked in a closet and basement? My team got locked in a broken fridge," Ootori added.

All the while Zaizen merely looked on at the other three who were debating on who had it worst. He started thinking back to all the teams and came to a (not so) startling conclusion. "Just because the sadist of your team locks you somewhere doesn't mean the whole team is insane. Seriously, look at Shitenhouji. My team consists of a couple, a monkey, a speed freak, giant, a health and poisonous plant obsessed buchou, and someone else, I think."

Momoshiro scratched his head, "True, Shitenhouji _is_ pretty crazy. Well as a whole that is."

"Er, okay than," Ootori conceded, "But I thought we were talking about who was the craziest by themselves?"

"Yukimura-buchou."

"Fuji-senpai."

Jackal and Momoshiro said automatically then glared at each other.

"Well you don't have someone who slaps you!" Jackal argued.

"And _you_ don't have someone who kills you with laps and then makes you drink Inui juice!" Momoshiro defended.

"Shiraishi-buchou told Kintarou that Oshitari-san is actually a superhero," Zaizen mumbled offhandedly.

Ootori blinked, "Oshitari-san…is a what?"

"See," Zaizen said getting the other two's attention, "Shitenhouji is definitely the craziest. Our buchou lies to our kouhai, who actually _believes_ it. Plus the school's motto is 'He who laughs first wins'."

"Well _my_ buchou enjoys tormenting us while smiling," Jackal grumbled.

Momoshiro snorted, "Sounds like Fuji-senpai. But Tezuka-buchou gives so many laps and is as expressive as a rock!"

Jackal raised an eyebrow, "Now _that_ sounds like Sanada-fukubuchou. Except he slaps too."

"The closest we have to that is Gin-senpai," Zaizen put in.

"Say," Jackal said, eyes wandering toward the tall and quiet second-year, "You haven't said much Ootori. Isn't your team insane?"

Ootori looked a bit uncomfortable with the stares he was getting and shifted around nervously, "I wouldn't call Hyoutei _insane_," he mumbled out.

"Really? With that narcissist of a buchou I would expect the team to be more than a little weird," Momoshiro said.

"Ah, er, well," Ootori stuttered, he wasn't used to discussing the senpai behind their backs. It was wrong! But then again once he thought about it they _were_ pretty odd. "Um, Oshitari-san is always reading romance novels and making comments on…uh," Ootori paused not wanting to go on, "girl's legs," he finished quietly, but loud enough for the others to hear and blushed looking down. It was so awkward for him to say that! He mentally slapped himself for even doing it.

While Ootori was fighting a mental war the others reacted in very different ways; Momoshiro spat out his drink, Jackal turned his head away, and Zaizen simply raised an eyebrow. "Kenya-senpai's cousin does?" Zaizen asked, "That's a surprise, never would've guessed someone like _him_ would have a leg fetish."

"Actually Fuji-senpai said he preferred girls with pretty fingers," Momoshiro mumbled out.

Jackal grimaced, "Really? Well Yukimura-buchou, said something about healthy people."

"If you think that's weird," Zaizen said, "this is even weirder. Shiraishi-buchou said he liked girls that smelled like shampoo."

Momoshiro coughed awkwardly, "Man do our teammates have weird tastes."

Tapping his chin Jackal's head shot up, "You know who else is crazy?"

Ootori glanced at him, "Uh do I want to know?"

"Akaya," Jackal said firmly. Yes, how could I leave out the infamous Devil of Rikkaidai?

"Kirihara? Isn't he the one who plays really violent tennis? I don't like him but he made a very good Cinderella," Momoshiro said.

"Oh I remember that," Jackal muttered, "Buchou, Niou, and now Marui seem to have this weird fascination with Akaya cross-dressing. He plus Marui is also the reason I have no allowance."

"Say what?" Zaizen looked completely taken off guard.

"I _told_ you Rikkai was crazy," Jackal said, "Akaya is also one of the most naïve and innocent people I've met."

"Naïve?" Momoshiro looked skeptical.

"Innocent?" Ootori seemed doubtful.

Jackal shook his head. Rikkaidai really gave people the most off impressions. Sure they were "Invincible Rikkaidai" on courts but the minute there's no practice (actually even when there's practice) the Rikkai tennis team turns into the most dysfunctional family ever to grace Earth with their presence. Yukimura was the sadistic, smiling, Demigod, Sanada was slap-happy, Yanagi was a stalker, Yagyuu couldn't be trusted, Niou was the Trickster (that speaks for itself), Marui was a self-proclaimed genius with an eating problem, and Akaya was the naïve Devil with a penchant for trusting the wrong people.

"Akaya listens to _everything_ the teams says. Niou told him that talking like a ditz makes you smarter and he actually _believed _him. Who does that?!" Jackal explained.

"Well that certainly is, surprising," Zaizen said glancing at the time, "Oh, I better get going if I want to get back to Osaka by nightfall." He stood up and jogged off towards the train station leaving the other three to their discussion.

Momoshiro also looked at the clock, "Whoa, who knew talking about your insane teammates took up so much time. Well seeya' guys! I gotta get moving." He hollered over his shoulder as he tried catching the bus.

Ootori smiled slightly at Jackal, "Thank you for inviting me out here. But I have to leave too, I told Shishido-san I would meet up with him for extra tennis practice tonight." He too left as Jackal just slumped back in his seat.

"Whew, I'm just glad the team wasn't here," Jackal sighed, "If anyone heard that we would be _dead_."

.~.~.~.

**A/N: That's a wrap! I just wanted to get this little special chapter out of the way. And yes this will come up in future stories. Did anyone else notice Jackal was the only third-year?**


End file.
